Football In August Is A Lie

The new season always feels like an interminable wait and then the football hits and life flies by. Three weeks in and so much to digest. So, welcome fellow Ultras of the Armchair persuasion. It’s time to talk football!

It’s often said that football in August is a lie, so anyone that reads too much into what’s happened so far is a fool. But here at The Armchair Ultra we’re not really interested in who beat who, or who scored which goal, we’re interested in the narrative football weaves over the long, unwinding season. And just as any good novel has its twists and turns, false starts, betrayals and sub-plots, so does our beautiful game. So regardless of whether it’s all a lie, the narrative is still fascinating.

Let’s dive in!

Flyers

It’s been a strong start to the season for the newly-promoted teams. Top of the pack are FC Köln and Cremonese, both with 100% win records so far. FC Köln, promoted back to the Bundesliga for the fifth time in the last 25 years made an early statement, beating Europa League qualifiers Freiburg 4-1. Whilst over in Lombardy, Cremonese, back in Serie A for only their second season this century, kick-started their campaign with a win against AC Milan. Their 2 wins so far puts them only 3 shy of their 2022-23 win tally. And that’s before Jamie Vardy’s joined the party!

In La Liga Elche have made a strong start to life back in the top division, going unbeaten through their first 3 games, navigating ties against Real Betis and Atletico Madrid with draws and picking-up a victory against fellow newbies Levante. Real Oviedo were dealt a tough run of fixtures to start their campaign, but after defeats to Villarreal and Real Madrid were able to pick-up a win against Real Sociedad.

In the Premier League Sunderland have won 2 of their first 3 matches, whilst Burnley and Leeds are also already on the board with a win apiece.

At the very top of the Premier League, Liverpool are hardly looking infallible, but are the only team through the first 3 fixtures to maintain a perfect record. In France it’s PSG and Lyon that lead the way with 9 points from a possible 9 and in Spain, Real Madrid and Athletic Club also have a perfect 3 wins from 3. Juventus, Roma and defending champions Napoli are keeping Cremonese company at the top of Serie A, all with 2 wins from 2. FC Köln, Bayern Munich and Eintracht Frankfurt are all perfect in the Bundesliga through the first 2 gameweeks.

Beyond those with perfect records, Villarreal, Espanyol, Toulouse, Monaco, Lille and Bournemouth have all started the season with a spark that hints at some promise.

Flailers

Aston Villa are flailing. 19th in the Premier League after 3 gameweeks, yet to find the back of the net and just a single point to their name. The only team worse off is Wolves, but they’ve at least scored five goals already this season and registered a victory in the EFL Cup.

In La Liga, Levante and Girona are keeping each other company on 0 points. Levante though can take solace in the fact they haven’t shipped 10 goals in 3 matches like their Catalan rivals. Only 2 points better off than this forlorn pair are Atletico Madrid. Winless and having already fallen to their first defeat of the season, the deficit to cross-city rivals is already 7 points.

Heidenheim and Freiburg prop-up the Bundesliga table, having both lost their two opening league games. But all is not doom and gloom, as they were fortunate to have opened the season with DFB Pokal fixtures against lower league opposition, delivering confidence-boosting wins (by no means guaranteed as others have learnt recently).

Newly-promoted Metz and Sassuolo sit bottom of Ligue 1 and Serie A respectively, both winless and without any points.

Top Scoring Teams: 

Four teams have reached double figures for goals already. Bayern Munich put 6 past RB Leipzig, Eintracht Frankfurt have wasted no time replacing the goals of Marmoush and Ekitike, scoring 5, 4 and 3 goals in their matches so far. Lille put 7 past Lorient and PSG scored 6 against Toulouse.

Bayern Munich (14 goals in 4 games), Eintracht Frankfurt (12 goals in 3 games), Lille (11 goals in 3 games), PSG (10 goals in 4 games)

Pointless:

Levante, Girona and Sassuolo have all started their seasons in misery so far, suffering defeats in every game.

Perfect:

Going into the international break 11 of the 96 teams still have a perfect record in tact.

Athletic Club, Lyon, PSG, Bayern Munich, Eintracht Frankfurt, FC Köln, Roma, Juventus, Cremonese, Napoli, Real Madrid

Goalless:

81 shots. 810 minutes of football. Zero goals.

Something needs to change or goalless Aston Villa, Genoa, Lecce and Torino are going to be in trouble.

Impenetrable:

Five teams have yet to feel the deflation of a goal conceded. Lyon, FC Köln, Napoli, Roma, Juventus are all still yet to concede a single goal. It’ll be a remarkable feat if any can maintain this streak through September too.

Goal contributions leaders:

8 - Harry Kane (6G + 2A)

5 - Nadiem Amiri, Álvaro García, Ritsu Doan (4G + 1A); Luis Díaz, Ilan Kebbal (3G + 2A); Lamine Yamal, Can Uzum, Jorge de Frutos (2G + 3A)

💪Can Athletic Club prove they’re the real deal?

They’re three from three so far this season after yours truly talked them up in the Armchair Ultra Season Preview. A September fixture list of Deportivo Alaves, Arsenal, Valencia, Girona and Villarreal will deliver a stern test, but if they can come through it with 4 victories that’ll be a real statement of intent. Ones to watch!

🍒 Can Bournemouth emerge as the leaders of a strong midfield pack?

Bournemouth were ransacked over the summer, losing three of their four first-choice defenders, and the promising Dango Ouattara. But, far from letting that cause them problems, Bournemouth are looking better than ever, with David Brooks, Antoine Semenyo and Evanilson looking supremely dangerous. Bournemouth face Brighton, Newcastle and Leeds through September, a fixture run that will reveal a lot about the true potential of this team. Three wins, three defeats and anything in between all a possibility.  

🥊Can anyone deliver an early knock to PSG?

Marseille are the first of the pretenders to the Ligue 1 crown that’ll get a shot at PSG this season, but Lille, Lyon and Monaco will all fancy an early shot too. PSG are mostly winning (save in the Club World Cup final), but aren’t looking untouchable. They needed a late comeback and penalties to best Spurs and began their Ligue 1 defence with back-to-back 1-0 wins before conceding 3 against Toulouse in a 6-3 victory.